Separation is one of life’s most difficult transitions. Whether you have been considering it for some time or the decision has come suddenly, the weeks and months ahead can feel overwhelming. There is so much to think about: where you will live, what happens with the children, how finances will work, and whether you even need a lawyer yet.

This guide provides a practical roadmap for the first steps of separation in New South Wales. We will walk you through the key decisions you need to make, what to prioritise, and when professional advice can make all the difference.

Before You Make Any Decisions

Why early legal advice matters

Many people wait until problems arise before seeking legal advice. By then, they may have already made decisions that affect their financial position or arrangements with their children.

Speaking with a family lawyer early, even before you announce your intention to separate, can help you understand your rights and obligations. You do not need to have all the answers before booking a consultation. In fact, it is often better to get advice while you still have time to plan.

What a lawyer can help you understand upfront

A family lawyer can explain:

• How property is divided under Australian family law
• What options exist for parenting arrangements
• How to protect your financial position without doing anything improper
• The difference between informal agreements and legally binding arrangements

Common mistakes people make without advice

Without proper guidance, people sometimes agree to arrangements that seem fair in the moment but leave them worse off in the long run. Others inadvertently weaken their position by agreeing to informal financial arrangements that are difficult to change later, or by making decisions about children or property without understanding how those choices may affect future negotiations.

Immediate Practical Considerations

Where will you and your partner live?

One of the first questions that arises is who stays in the family home, and who, if anyone, moves out. There is no automatic rule that one partner must leave. Both parties have a right to remain in the home during separation, even if only one person’s name is on the title.

In certain circumstances, such as where there is family violence, a party can seek agreement or an order from the Court that provides them with sole use and occupation of the home while the matter is being finalised.

Can you live together while separated in Australia?

Yes. Many couples continue to live under the same roof after separation, often for financial or practical reasons. This is sometimes called being “separated under one roof”. For this arrangement to count legally as separation, there needs to be a clear change in the nature of the relationship. This might include:

• Sleeping in separate rooms
• No longer sharing meals together
• Telling family and friends about the separation
• Managing finances independently

If you later apply for divorce, you may need to provide evidence of the separation, particularly if you lived in the same house during that time.

Safety considerations

If there are safety concerns, including family violence, your immediate priority should be your wellbeing and that of any children. There are legal protections available, including Apprehended Domestic Violence Orders (ADVOs), and support services that can help you plan a safe way forward.

Who Needs to Know, and When?

Telling your children

This is often the hardest conversation. Where possible, it helps to tell children together with your partner, in age-appropriate language. The key messages are that both parents still love them, that the separation is not their fault, and that they will continue to be looked after.

Avoid criticising the other parent in front of the children, even if emotions are running high. Children do best when they feel free to love both parents without feeling caught in the middle.

Informing family and friends

You do not need to tell everyone immediately. However, having trusted support around you can make a significant difference during this time. Let people know when you feel ready, and set boundaries around what you are comfortable discussing.

Practical contacts to inform

At some stage, you may need to update joint service providers such as banks, utility companies, and insurance providers. You do not necessarily need to do this on day one, but it is worth keeping a list of accounts and contacts that may need to be addressed.

Urgent Financial Protections

What to do about joint bank accounts

You have a legal right to access funds in joint accounts. However, it is important to act reasonably. Withdrawing all funds from a joint account without discussion can damage trust and may be viewed unfavourably if the matter goes to court.

A sensible first step is often to open your own account for your income and personal expenses. Document the balance of joint accounts and keep records of any withdrawals.

Protecting assets without hiding them

Protecting your financial interests does not mean hiding money, transferring property into someone else’s name, or disposing of assets to prevent your partner from claiming them. Courts take a dim view of this behaviour, and it can seriously harm your case. Instead, focus on documenting what exists and seeking advice on how to secure your fair share through proper legal channels.

Bills and mortgage: who pays what during separation?

There is no automatic rule about who pays the mortgage or bills during separation. If you have a joint mortgage, both parties generally remain liable to the lender regardless of who is living in the property. Many couples continue to share expenses during separation, but this should be agreed upon clearly to avoid disputes later.

Documentation to Gather

When it comes to property settlement, having access to financial records is essential. Start gathering documents early, even before formal negotiations begin. Key documents include:

• Bank statements
• Superannuation statements
• Tax returns
• Property valuations
• Loan documents
• Records of debts and liabilities

If you are concerned that you may lose access to financial information after separation, take copies (not originals) of key documents while you still can. This is not about hiding information from your partner; both parties are entitled to full disclosure during property settlement proceedings.

Next Steps: Creating Your Plan

Timeline for legal processes

In Australia, you must be separated for at least 12 months before you can apply for a divorce. However, you do not need to wait 12 months to make arrangements for property or children. In fact, it is often better to formalise these arrangements earlier rather than later.

There are also time limits for property settlement claims: 12 months from the date your divorce becomes final for married couples, or two years from the date of separation for de facto couples. Missing these deadlines can affect your ability to make a claim.

When to formalise arrangements

Informal agreements can work in the short term, but they offer no legal protection if circumstances change. There are two main ways to formalise your arrangements:

• Consent orders are agreements approved by the Court. They provide certainty and are legally enforceable.
• Financial agreements (sometimes called binding financial agreements) are private contracts between you and your former partner. They do not require Court approval but must meet strict legal requirements to be binding.

A family lawyer can help you understand which option makes sense for your situation.

Moving Forward with Confidence

Separation is never easy, but having the right information and support can make the process more manageable. You do not have to navigate this alone.

If you are considering separation or have recently separated, speaking with a family lawyer can help you understand your options and plan your next steps. Our team provides compassionate, practical advice so you can make informed decisions about your future.

Book a confidential consultation with our family law team to discuss your situation.